To the men in my area
Ever since you manhandled me
For not responding to a conversation
I didn’t know you started
I don’t wear earphones
In your presence anymore.
My earphones won’t save me.
I need to hear everything,
I need to know how much danger
I’m really in or if I’m just uncomfortable
I need to know if my quickened steps
Must break into a run
And strain to hear an extra pair of shoes
Over the loud hum of machinery
I need to hear past your lewd commentary
To hear your intent.
I had to hear someone describe
What he wanted to do to my body
And I wondered why anyone
Was this comfortable using
The fingers of his words to violate me-
It never ends.
I don’t know how to respond to that
And so I don’t,
I keep my face stoic
Even though I love to smile
In that moment I want to cry
Because your words are pins
And I feel each prick against my will
Hands up in forced surrender
Puppet or voodoo doll
It doesn’t matter
Because I am not in control.
On the days I wrap myself
In the bubble wrap of tense silence
I hear “she think she better than we”
No random man, I do not.
But I’m sorry because sadly
The one thing I never learned at university
Is how to comfort and coddle
Your fragile masculinity.
Every stab of my heel in the pavement
Is practice I tell myself
For if your words ever upgrade into actions
I have no actions of my own
Every action is a reaction
To the fear of living in a man’s world.
And I’m afraid writing this
Of course I’m afraid writing this
But I do it anyway because
My silence will not save me
A Target is not on my back
Because I am loud
A Target is on my back
Because I am woman.
I’m not trying to make myself a victim
I’m trying to explain that
There’s an incredibly high chance
Of becoming a statistic.
Every 1 in 3 women is 1 in 3 too many
When you come from a family
Of four women five people.
I’m tired of writing about this
I’m tired of writing this
I’m tired of being handed material
I’m exhausted.
My heartbeat keeps time
With the frantic tempo
Of Jaws’ theme song
And your bared teeth
Make it no better.
You gotta stop.
Dear men in my area
I’m not interested.
Thou shall not kill
Sinks into obscurity
When I’m blinded by the rage-
the product of your raging hormones
Dear men in my area
GET A GRIP
on something other than yourself.