This House is Not a Home

Photo by Annetta Jackson, Intersect Antigua-Barbuda.

This house is not a home.

It’s given me more dark days than light ones,

More punishments than rewards,

More anxiety than happiness.

This house is not a home.

It's a void, filled with fancy, expensive things

A yawning, groping, empty, bellied space,

Churning me along its inside.

This house has taken more peace,

Taken more sleep from me,

Than all my bad decisions combined.

This house is not a home.

On some days, loud, on others, loud silence, feels haunted, this house has seen too much.

This house has memoirs of all my lesser moments, this house has a new paint job, but the same old atmosphere.

This house is not a home

It is stained with my tears

Keeper of my shortcomings

This house is not a home

This house is not a home

It tears us down, the more we try to build it up

Makes you less masculine

Me less feminine

Stripping everything

Contributing only to basic needs

This house shelters our heads but does nothing for our fears

This house, is not a home.

Van Jackson

She/her/hers: I am a Jamaican poet with a keen interest in writing poetry; it has been a venting point and a means of sanity for me through the years.


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